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Joke of the Day

"Why are Twilight fans obsessed with it? Because they need a fandom that won't make them feel like trash."

"Three tampons are walking down the street, which one says hi first? None of them. They were all stuck up cunts."

"I heard Nintendo once planned to change Donkey Kong's name for their audience in Germany There, he was originally gonna be called ""Danke Kong"""

"What is a terrorist favorite Pokemon move? Self-Destruct"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Celery ! Celery who ? Celery me you lunch will you I'm hungry !"

"1-step guide for Asexual Reproduction Go fuck yourself"

"Just realized that 90% of Disney cartoons involve lying about your identity to get someone to love you."

"One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, He said ""here's a picture of me when I was younger."" I responded ""Every picture is of you when you were younger."" -Mitch Hedberg"

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? Because it runs in your genes!"

"How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own."