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Joke of the Day

"""What's the matter with your dinner ?"" ""Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I've eaten !"""

"Why don't oysters like to share? Because they're shellfish."

"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"

"Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart."

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass."

"I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said ""Be an organ donor!""... They were doing 20 in a 30. I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause."

"What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come !"

"What is the difference between sex and fear? Zwei."

"God damn it Adolf... I told you to pass me the juice not gas the jews!"