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Joke of the Day

"If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when you're old."

"Where is Wallace at? Where is his oscar nomination?"

"It's better to plagiarize from Encarta than from Wikipedia, because people actually read Wikipedia."

"I like my women like how I like my coffee beans Ground and stored in the freezer."

"Science joke An ion walks into a bar, ""Just you tonight, sir?"" ""No, I'm waiting on one more."""

"5's friend told him his mom makes play doh. Thanks Pinterest. I'm already expected to cook 3 meals a day, now I have to cook their toys too?"

"A boy bought some Tesco burgers from the canteen, The dinnerlady asked what he wanted on them. The boy replied: ""I'll have 5 each way!"""

"Q: What kind of tree grows in your hand? A: A palm tree."

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!"