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Joke of the Day
"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"
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"Me on New Year's Day: 2016 is so going to be my year! (Morgan Freeman narration): 2016 would not, in fact, be anyone's year."
"What's the difference between a blimp and a blow job every day? One's a Goodyear, the other's a fucking awesome year!"
"How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit."
"A man asked Robin Hood, ""would you rob from the rich to give to the poor?"" To which he replied, ""I Sher-would."""
"I like to stand next to a stranger on the elevator and whisper, ""I read what you said on the internet."""
"A pirate joke kind of day. What do pirates and pimps have in common? They both say ""YO HO!"" and walk with a limp!"
"I never give homeless people drugs because I know they're just going to trade them for food"
"What is the Beatles' favourite social media site? REDDIT BE"
"I heard that my old neighbour forgot about his dementia. He's alright now."