104867

Joke of the Day

"I was going to make an anal joke... butt fuck it. I know I know I'm a terrible reposter. I'll see myself out."

"""Your resume says you've been to prison?"" Me: Sorry, that's a mistake ""So you haven't?"" Me: I have, I just didn't mean to put it on there"

"Today, my wife found a pair of her sister's panties in our room. They were in my laundry pile, next to my boxers. Now she's mad, because I told her it was only a brief affair."

"Why was Hitler late for work? He tried driving a new route to work, but instead of taking the second left, he took the third reich."

"What do you call a Chinese fanatasy series? Lord Of The Chinks"

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."

"I haven't talked to a single member of my family since the great monopoly battle of '06. So yea, I know a thing or 2 about holding a grudge."

"There used to be a superhero that could turn into furniture and wore a crown... He was sofa king cool."

"Why are the majority of school shooters white? Because the black kids don't wanna get kicked off the basketball team."

"Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed."