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Joke of the Day

"5's friend told him his mom makes play doh. Thanks Pinterest. I'm already expected to cook 3 meals a day, now I have to cook their toys too?"

"Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!"

"How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we just swap out your whole house"

"Why does Popeye have the perfect dick? Because he's always dipping it in Olive Oyl."

"What do you call a redhead who identifies as the opposite sex? Transginger."

"See ya later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. Catch ya manana, little iguana."

"What do you call sunscreen in Ireland? Pubs"

"Procrastination Paradox... If you come in last in a procrastination contest because you procrastinated, does that make you the best or worst at procrastinating...???"

"Did you hear Macklemore changed his name? He's Mackle-less now"

"What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root."