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Joke of the Day

"How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb? YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE..!!!"

"I hate those people who knock on your door and tell how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn"". hi Stupid fireman..."

"Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke? They don't find them Hume-erous."

"Rich person joke What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have 100 dead babies in my garage"

"The only downside to buying diamonds is that you could have bought thousands of tacos instead."

"I call my wife ""Happy Meal""... She's not enough to satisfy me but she comes with a toy..."

"Why did Princess Diana divorce Prince Charles? She was always told a ruler was 12 inches!"

"I won't believe Johnny Depp is engaged until I've seen he's put a ring, 90 bracelets, 7 scarves, a fedora and an ugly pair of glasses on it."

"I saw two guys having a fight on the train. So, being a bouncer, I dealt with the situation accordingly. I just stood there looking like a cunt."

"""Give it to me!"" she yelled ""I'm so fucking wet! Give it to me now!"" ... She could scream all she wanted. I was keeping the umbrella."