95054

Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I came out of the closet. Then realized I should probably stop masturbating in my closet."

"Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself."

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" 384 my liege ""Ok, round them up"" 400 my liege"

"I have a basic password for my online banking and a complicated one for twitter. Wouldn't want some hacker breaking in and posting bullshit."

"3 guys walk into a bar The 4th one ducks."

"Fitness guru just tweeted ""remember to breathe"" and it was pure luck that I got the message in time."

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger become after he resigned as Governor of California? An ex-terminator."

"What's the worst punchline on /r/jokes? I haven't got the faintest idea."

"What kind of guns do bees use? BeeBee guns"

"Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel? It's for the Christmas period."