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Joke of the Day

"By the power vested in me by this vintage merlot, I now pronounce us husband and wife. I may now kiss the bottle."

"How do black people get tans at the beach? They lay down on their backs and put their legs and arms toward the sky."

"Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated aarrrh."

"My doctor told me not to eat anything fatty... ...my wife is going to be disappointed."

"Why does Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can jump"

"I'm unemployed, but now I can finally say I'm making six figures... although all of those figures are zeros."

"did you hear about the italian chef? he pasta way"

"Are people in wheelchairs okay with jokes being made about them? I don't know where they stand on the issue."

"I've got an old condom joke I wanted to share on Reddit with you guys... ...but it's already been used once."

"People who don't understand what I'm trying to say are anti-semantics."