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Joke of the Day

"""Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead"" she hexed."

"My wife asked me to play doctor with her... ...she is now waiting for three hours in front of the bedroom."

"Two peanuts walking down the street... one gets *assaulted*."

"Summer was especially good this year in Canada... If I recall correctly it was a friday"

"""Papa who was Hamlet?"" ""You birdbrain! Bring me the Bible and I'll show you who he was."""

"What happened to all the pokemon GO jokes? I guess people have made the ""switch"" to another fad."

"I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me"

"With all those 'thoughts and prayers' on Facebook it's amazing people are *still* dying."

"Hermione Granger: What can I wear that won't make me look fat? Ronald Weasley: An invisibility cloak"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. All credit goes to the apples and apples folks."