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Joke of the Day
"What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !"
Next Joke
"Lost my watch at a party... Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl. ^not ^^on ^^^my ^^^^watch."
"I now have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever."
"So, a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch... The bartender asks, ""What the hell is that?"" The pirate responds, ""Arrrrr, it drives me nuts."""
"You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera."
"Welcome to Business Job. Squeeze my hand and I'll squeeze yours. There, now we're acquaintances. Here's your 3 walls and chair."
"I remember the face of every person who doesn't say ""thank you"" when I hold open the door for them."
"Tower: Shamu two-two please state estimated time of arrival. Pilot: Ok let's see... I think Tuesday would be nice..."
"I read in the paper about a hooker starting her own business.... They said that she had a good soft-opening."
"How do you make holy water? Fill a container and boil the hell out of it"