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Joke of the Day

"check if your cocaine is good, mix in vinegar. If it makes a volcano, its baking soda. If not, your drugs is ruined. Drugs are always bad."

"What's the best part about dating 26 year olds? There's twenty of them."

"What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable? Mrs Hawking."

"The inventor of autocorrect has died... The inventor of autocorrect has died. I didn't even know he was I'll"

"Have you ever had sex with a comedian? It's a fucking joke."

"*wakes up early* *goes for morning jog* *calls wife to pick him up because he's made a terrible mistake*"

"What's worse than getting AIDs? Having to find out that your dog has AIDs too."

"So...Donald Trump was on The View today. I kept rewinding it and watching it trying to spot Elizabeth Hasselbeck's boner."

"Where's the gratification in tearing down another human being? It's much easier to have heart, than walk w a self-inserted rod up your ASS."

"If a man uses pickup lines on a girl... Would you call it Clitbait?"