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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a foot doctor, curled up in a ball on the floor? A pedal physician in the fetal position."

"[NSFW?] As a guy, I've become very insensitive... because I masturbate too much."

"Someone should make a movie where something unusual appears, and the scientists want to study it and the military wants to shoot it."

"I was once accused of stealing money from work. I didn't do it but it was nice to know management also thought I wasn't getting paid enough."

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behaviour"

"I'm calling it now: I'm going to discover the cure for blindness and make billions of dollars someday. You'll all see."

"My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was trying to be funny."

"Jessica Simpson has already taught her daughter everything she knows."

"I just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe... ... I couldn't A-Fjord to live there."

"I would make a joke about gold But that would just be Auful"