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Joke of the Day

"[emergency] [super hero appears] GUY: It's Doesn't-Understand-Rhetorical-Questions Man. Boy, am I glad to see you! HERO: I...I don't know"

"An old lady at the gym told me her dad married her mom because she could catch chickens.... Pretty sure she had a pretty firm grip on something else too...."

"Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice."

"Justin Timberlake was a devout christian during his N-Sync days. He was always reading his Bye Bye Bible."

"Dear Algebra, Don't make us find your X. She is never going to come back, And don't ask Y."

"Obama says he's pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing."

"Yo mama is so fat... That Seaworld is looking for her to make sure she no longer breeds."

"Doctor, doctor I think I need glasses!! You certainly do sir. This is a fish and chip shop."

"I once stole a simile I made out like a bandit"

"I knew the guy who invented the clothes iron. Unfortunately, he died from being ironed on the face. I still remember the iron-y smell of his blood."