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Joke of the Day
"I once stole a simile I made out like a bandit"
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"What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich? Everything. These two objects have nothing in common."
"How much longer? Did you bring any snacks? They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet? - me watching my kids Christmas pageant"
"What did the jewish pedophile say too the children? Would you like to ""buy"" some candy"
"All in favor of imitating Spanish women say ""Aye-yi-yi."""
"[OC] What is the pope's favorite mode of transportation? A mitre-cycle!"
"FACT: When a dog barks at you, it's actually their skeleton barking. PROOF: I have never seen a dog without a skeleton bark."
"Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja."
"Helped my kid pick out a ""famous past explorer"" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6."
"Did I ever tell you the story about Lola? I wont do it with family around."