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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about having sex with a gilf? You can finger her and grab her titties with one hand at the same time. ;)"

"Q: Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague? A: He was looking for a Czech mate."

"Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games"

"What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Dam."

"What do you call a fat psychic... ...a psychic you fat shaming cunt"

"How many republicans does it take to fix a problem? No one knows. It's never happened."

"If you want to intimidate anyone with your screaming and honking, you may need to rethink those reindeer antlers on your car."

"SO AFTER I CAUGHT HER CHEATING ON ME I WANTED TO JUMP OUT OF A PLANE AND DIE. ANYWAY MY NAME'S TOM AND I'LL BE YOUR TANDEM PARACHUTE PARTNER"

"A toddler who refuses to take a nap... Is guilty of *resisting a rest*."

"What kind of cheese is made backwards? Edam."