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Joke of the Day

"A toddler who refuses to take a nap... Is guilty of *resisting a rest*."

"I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy"

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!"

"I have the email that Hillary sent Donald congratulating him on his victory [Deleted]"

"My grandmother is like a fine wine that grows more racist with every year."

"Like ""dollar,"" ""euro"" is not capitalized. Unlike a dollar, a euro can actually buy you something."

"Why do Italian men have mustaches? They want to look like their mothers."

"Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves."

"What do you call a monster with two wooden heads? Edward Woodward."

"You're so fat and unfunny... that the only punchlines you have are stained on your shirt."