59389

Joke of the Day

"Me: I can't seem to lose weight CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean"

"What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Punch her"

"When the moon hits your eye/like an eel in the sky That's a moray"

"Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach."

"Wow if I squint through the tears I look pretty thin!"

"My Mother texted me and asked ""What does TTYL mean?""... I replied, ""Talk to you later"". So she responded, ""No! Talk to me now! What does it mean?"""

"Why do Nazis hate Canadian summers? They're mostly Julys."

"When you're trying to watch something and your whole family decides to have a competition to see who can be the loudest."

"Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show? ...he won first place for a dried arrangement!"

"How many bees are there in the world? A buzzillion."