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Joke of the Day

"When you're trying to watch something and your whole family decides to have a competition to see who can be the loudest."

"How does a pirate tip his hat? ""M'Hearty"""

"I'm going to open a bank ... ... with a clawbar!"

"What would you call a very funny mountain? Hill Arious!"

"Man goes to a Doctor. ""Every time I attempt to pass water it hurts"" ""Does it burn?"" ""I don't know, I've never tried to set fire to it"""

"What's the difference between a chestnut and a walnut? Your aim."

"Dog limps into the O.K. Corral. ""I'm lookin for the man that shot my paw."""

"Donald Trump managed to build his wall and kept the mexicans out. Now he has a new target for extinction: Ladders, ropes, shovels, airplanes..."

"What's the difference between a fruit and a nut? I don't fruit all over your mother's tits."

"Nothing makes sex more awkward than realizing your kid is awake... and standing outside your door... and playing the harmonica."