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Joke of the Day

"I like my hookers like I like my treasure... Buried."

"There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl"

"What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito? M'laria"

"My rich uncle just passed away so I recently came into some money But now the bills are all stuck together"

"If ""The Purge"" was real, I'd hide in Aeropostale cause no one has been there since like 2009"

"MISSED CONNECTION: I was the customer. You were the cable guy. You said you'd be here by 5 but you never came you piece of shit I'm gonna fi"

"Good times + Crazy friends = Amazing memories. "

"I went to walmart today. I got the cart with three wheels and a hoof. This always happens to me."

"There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts."

"[Jewish Joke] What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? They break their nose. (note - I'm Jewish so this is OK)"