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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Mexican painter who lost two fingers? After the incident, he could only tres."

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"January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, Cucumber..."
"I'm always a little disappointed when I walk away from my car and it doesn't explode after I press the lock button."
"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."
"I wish I were a Jedi. I don't want to use the Force or anything. I just want to hang out in my bathrobe all day."
"do you know? Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman? Who fucking cares."
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped his coffee before it was cool."
"What do I think about during sex? My wife waiting for me to get home."
"What do you call a Muslim cowboy? Dirty hairy."
"Never buy a used dream catcher from the flea market near a mental hospital."
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