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Joke of the Day

"Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend."

"""I sure hope Pitbull and Nicky Minaj do an album together!"" - said no one ever."

"Women are always complaining about wanting a boyfriend... And when I offer they act all repulsed and tell me to get out of their house before they call the cops for breaking in, women am I right?"

"Nothing is too good for my girlfriend on Valentines day... I tried to get her nothing, but she was too good for that."

"I saw an entire family with huge butts I guess you can say It's in their genes"

"How many Jon Snows does it take to change a light bulb? It wouldn't matter. Jon Snow knows nothing."

"Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems"

"Relationship Joke A man asks his wife, ""What would you do if I won the lottery?"" His wife says, ""Take half and leave your ass!"" The man replies, ""Great! I won 12 bucks, here is six, now get out!"""

"ME: Why are you leaving? WIFE: I have hated every stupid pun of yours since we left Manhasset 20 years ago ME: Manhasset been that long?"

"*sees a racoon in the neighbor's trash* I won't say anything if you don't. *continues rummaging*"