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Joke of the Day

"If people are talking about you behind your back, then just Fart"

"You so ugly on Halloween someone said scary costume."

"I don't understand why people can't just check their kids at the airport with the rest of their baggage."

"NyQuil before beer, nothing to fear. Beer before Nyquil, never been a 30-foot panda on the French Riviera selling kites to angry trees."

"Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore..... A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband."

"So, a baby seal walks into a club... *Best joke i've ever heard.*"

"I did a theatrical performance on puns... It was really just a play on words."

"Madonna goes on her arse, To much Material Girl .."

"I saw a huge spider wearing a turban and carrying an AK-47 yesterday and I shit myself. I'm guessing I have Iraqnophobia."

"I don't delete annoying people out of my phone. I give them new names so I know not to answer. ""Always needs a favor"" is calling, decline."