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Joke of the Day

"What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks I needed that."

"What does person with Alzheimer's call What Are You Wearing Today? What Am I Wearing Today"

"A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette's word was quizzical. The redhead's word was photosynthesis. The blonde's word was dick."

"Why couldn't the homosexual Irishman with an oral fixation order at the restaurant? He only spoke gaelic"

"The things that you love are what makes you who you are. I guess that makes me large breasts...."

"How does a dog catcher gets paid? by the pound."

"What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day? Let me call you Tweet heart!"

"[gf falls asleep during a movie] ME: aw [i get a blanket] ME: *hitting her w/ the blanket* wake up ur missing the part with gollum's riddles"

"I use the word ""thingy"" when I cant think of the word: Me- Are you picking up the ""thingy's?"" Wife- ...you mean your kids? Me- Dont judge me"

"I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them."