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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A woman that won't do what she's told."

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"What do you call an aardvark outside Buckingham Palace? A guardvark!"
"Where do Muslims go after they die? Everywhere"
"So apparently ""You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!"" isn't of much use when dealing with armed cops."
"I was at a urinal when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox... bad day to wear sandals."
"How do you spot a egocentric vocalist? They warm up singing, 'Mi, mi, mi.... Mi!'"
"I don't think it's correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore... They seem to prefer the label ""alt-write"" nowadays."
"to my beautiful son i leave a wealth of valuable golden coins, sprinkled throughout super mario 3d world, redeemable for extra in-game lives"
"The first rule of procrastination club is: Google some weird shit then take a nap."
"What repulsive awful thing can be found in a black persons clothes? The black person."