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Joke of the Day

"So apparently ""You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!"" isn't of much use when dealing with armed cops."

"What does a duck put in its burrito? Quackamole."

"train me. no. train me. okay. training montage. the big fight. i'm glad you trained me. i'm glad i trained you. #everyboxingmovie"

"What was the best part about Narcos Season 2? [SPOILERS] Tata, Pablo Escobar"

"The woman who sits next to me at work just told someone she's surrounded by idiots. I feel bad for her."

"A little bit of racism Scientists have found that your fingerprints may indicate that you are black or white. For example, if your fingerprints were found at the crime scene, you're probably black."

"Whats the difference between Lance Armstrong and Hitler? Lance can finish a race."

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"Would you like to learn about the Mormon Church? ""No thanks."" Don't judge too quickly. We have a lot of sects... ""WHERE DO I SIGN UP?"""

"Stranger: ""Excuse me where is the nearest..."" Me: ""GOOGLE IT!"""