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Joke of the Day
"Malaysia Airlines loses contact with another plane. At least they know where this one is."
Next Joke
"What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic? Llamanated"
"It's a beautiful day to sit outside and stare into your phone."
"Just realized I only had one meal today. One, thirteen-hour meal."
"What kind of soda do dogs drink? Barq's Root beer."
"Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like ""is this about me?"" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like ""is that about me?"""
"I think having an abortion really brings out the kid in me"
"Why are waste facility managers so successful? Because they're always on top of their shit!"
"How many white people does it take to change a light bulb? One, they just need to call a repairman."
"The only thing I have to say about Bristol Palin ""You're welcome."""