59091

Joke of the Day

"Do you think the Tauntaun from The Empire Strikes Back got cold after Han sliced it open? Or do you think it kept lukewarm?"

"How much does a hipster weigh? ....An instagram."

"Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving."

"What's the worst thing a girl can hear when she's giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? ""I'm not Willie Nelson..."""

"Iguanas feel love but don't marry ..know why? Cos to Mariguana is illegal."

"[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse"

"What do you call it when a hooker farts? A prostitoot."

"Sometimes I type a 'C' when I meant to type an 'A'. And now I have to apologize to my 'Aunt'"

"What career is a perfect ten? Forensics"

"I hope I can kill my feelings before my liver."