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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm? Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron."

"If you are living your life without giving an ""f"", You are living a li[ ]e."

"a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers"

"Know why I make my pot brownies with chocolate laxatives? For shits and giggles."

"I have really bad gambling withdrawals I take out about $400 a week"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll except under a full moon"

"[friend being eaten by a bear] *screaming violently* Me: Stay calm! Don't move so much! I'm trying to take a picture for snapchat!"

"Why did the miner feel so low? He was in a deep depression."

"If someone tries to shoot the President... The Secret Service will have to yell ""Donald duck!"""

"Three Jews walk into a bar... ...and head straight to the back room to check the books to see how much profit it's been making. Because they own the bar. Because they're Jews."