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Joke of the Day
"If someone tries to shoot the President... The Secret Service will have to yell ""Donald duck!"""
Next Joke
"A Racist, a viciously jealous wife and a socialist walk into a room... Welcome to the US General election debate!"
"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"
"How do you console somebody with bad grammar skills? There, their, they're."
"Ever heard a band called 1023 Megabytes? Of course not. They haven't made a gig yet."
"Sloth 911: What's your emergency [1 week later] Sloth: I'VE BEEN SHOT [1 week later] Sloth 911: DON'T MOVE! We'll be there in a month"
"Stupid jokes I made at 3 in the morning. What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes? *Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car? *Joaquin*"
"What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote."
"Did you hear what the blind man said to the deaf man? Neither did he."
"Being cremated..... ..... is my last hope for a smoking hot body."