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Joke of the Day

"a murder of crows, a pride of lions, a virgin of gamers"

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"Imagine being so rich you could afford the other monocle."
"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leopard!"
"What is the difference between a Lannister and a Greek? A Greek never pays his debts."
"Let's get this out of the way now. Next Wednesday, the date will be 12-12-12. Happy?"
"""He died doing what he loved..."" I'm not dead ""Interrupting my jokes"""
"What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band? SWV (sisters with voices)"
"wife: as immature as you are, you do do a lot for this family, so thank you me: *giggles* wife: me: wife: ...go ahead me: ""do do"""
"Did you hear who Deez Nuts is picking as a running mate? Shaft."
"Hyperbole makes me want to kill myself."