58935

Joke of the Day

"I bet by the time you were done listening to The Fray's ""How to Save a Life,"" the person choking on their food would be dead already."

"I just rolled a joint... Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!"

"The hottest chick rang me up at the self checkout today!"

"It just seems crazy that the final apocalypse could be started by a guy who says ""You're fired"" every time he launches a nuke."

"I have a joke about minidisc... ...but it's a little CD."

"I try to say at least one bad thing about somebody after they die just to counter all the compliments they're getting."

"me: I want to travel to the victorian era & meet a real gentleman [takes time machine back to 1860 England] man: 31? what are u my grandma?"

"Kill them with kindness, you say? *slowly and sadly puts down bazooka*"

"I saw a man with a board saying 'Repent for you're sin's, the end of the world is nigh'. I thought 'That's a bad sign'."

"Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens? He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!"