86161

Joke of the Day

"I try to say at least one bad thing about somebody after they die just to counter all the compliments they're getting."

"I'm the dog whisperer. I'll whisper the word ""dog"" 20.. hell, 30 times if the price is right"

"TIFU by mixing up my sub order at subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."

"After his final sex-change operation, what kind of wood won't Bruce have any more? Sbruce"

"Humans: we're not like snakes Also Humans: mmmm eggs"

"What is wonder woman's favorite drug? Heroine."

"Why Couldn't Bill Gates Get A Girl Friend? Because his penis was Microsoft."

"I owe my love of bukkake all to my dad When I was a child, he really rubbed off on me."

"Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!"