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Joke of the Day

"Frozen... Text Message from Wife: Windows frozen. Won't Open. Husband: Pour lukewarm water on window. Tap gently with hammer to free windows. Wife: Computer really messed up now. Nothing works."

"I was going to watch a documentary on the Malaysian Airlines But I couldn't find it."

"Which room in Donalds Trump's house has the thickest walls? his-panic room."

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I've said it before."

"Politicians are like Sperm One in a million turn out to be an actual human being"

"How does every black guy joke start? By looking over your shoulder!"

"If a bend in a shoreline creates a large ocean inlet, but no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? ... think about it."

"What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog. A building can't jump."

"""So here are the plans for the Eiffel tower..."" ""Hmm. Yes, yes - this is Gustave!"""

"Kiss her in the middle of her sentence chicks dig when you visit them in jail"