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Joke of the Day

"Math teacher: What is the value of x? Student: She was my life."

"Entering Area 51 US soldier: - Sir, this is secret teritory and you don't have permission to... - me - Where the fuck are you running, Pikachu?!"

"A Japanese man once tried to fake his own death. His family didn't bereave him."

"Did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment? He had some time to kill."

"What did Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both had curds in their whey."

"Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: ""The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"""

"Is PETA aware that we're still struggling with the ethical treatment of humans?"

"I've only heard the setup for this joke, anybody know the rest? A Jew and a Pollock are in a rainstorm... That's all I know and I've been dying to find out the rest. Anybody have any ideas?"

"I like turntablism. Some of the samples really speak to me."

"What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus? Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on."