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Joke of the Day

"When I order a burrito with a coffee in my hand, I imagine the cashier is thinking ""Wow, this guy must really love to shit!"""

"The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called ""15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions. We Love You Brittani!"""

"Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Aromatic and with a bit of foam floating at the top."

"What's a neckbeard's favourite element? Manga-nese."

"You may have a drinking problem - when your mother asks you to toast the bread.....and you raise your glass and say ""here's to the bread""!"

"What do biology students do when they do poorly on a test? They bio-D-grade."

"A girl posted on FB: ""Sum 1 Cum 2 ma house nd sav me frm boredom"" A guy replied: ""sending an English teacher immediately"""

"I tried to steal a didgeridoo from a museum... I didgeri-shouldn't-have-done-that. 3 years...."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cumin ! Cumin who? Cumin side its freezing out there !"