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Joke of the Day

"moron: ""duhh, i hate taco bell, every time i go there i get diarrhea"" me: try getting tacos instead, genius"

"Grammar Nazi hiding in Argentina captured after being baited on social media with an inappropriate you're usage"

"Seriously Alejandro, stop calling Gaga. I think she's made it pretty clear she's not interested and frankly you can do better."

"write your suicide note in frosting on a cake so no one can eat it and people will still hate you even though you are dead"

"Would a charming vampire be a neck-romancer?"

"What's the best was to piss off an archaeologist ? Hand him a used tampon and ask him which period it's from."

"What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!"

"Not sure what my dog thinks I do all day, but based on her excitement when I get home she apparently lives in constant fear I'll be murdered"

"Teacher: You can do anything you set your mind to [I try to sneak outta class but somehow mess up the pull door twice] Except maybe that guy"

"Ive never been good with punctuation but I like Dicks Sporting Goods Store"