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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon? I still haven't caught any Pokemon."

"[first day in the mob] *leans over to mafioso* Hey, so, uhh, I've always wondered: are they all just named ""Don"" or..."

"if you're feeling stressed out, just relax, take a deep breath, and exhale fire over all of your enemies. this is more for dragons btw"

"Somebody stole my Thanksgiving turkey... I suspect fowl play (IT'S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!)"

"She is such a hoe that she doesn't have boyfriends.. ...she has daily active users."

"Why did Captain Kirk go into the ladies toilet ? To boldly go where no man has been before !"

"The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Yes ! Who is there! HortonHearsA Who !"

"Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer? Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping."

"I'm not a mechanic so I don't know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people."