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Joke of the Day

"Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer? Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping."

"What do you say to a girl with small tits? NOTHING!"

"*brings bucket of fried chicken in meeting* *meeting starts* *I eat each piece, crunching, licking my fingers* *touches all the paper work*"

"Why couldn't the traffic light get a date? She was wearing no turn on red. :|"

"What do you call a woman with her tongue out? A lesbian with a hard on."

"My boss told me ""Dress for the job you want, not the job you have"" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume"

"It's not that I don't like drinking, it's just I find that my aim when throwing bottles in your face is allot more accurate when I'm sober."

"Why did Nobelium's car got towed away? He parked at a *No* parking!"

"What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog. A building can't jump."

"Did you hear about the midget that finally came to terms with his homosexuality? He just came out of the cupboard."