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Joke of the Day

"What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Jeffrey Dahmer!"

"Man is incomplete until he's married. Then he's finished."

"I hit Jesus with a water balloon and he said it hurt. So I told him to walk it off..."

"I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012.... It's called Mayanaisse...."

"LIKE if you don't ring the doorbell... You just text or call to say you're outside."

"[Call from cell company] We can give you 15 gigs for $100 Me: Excellent! *Puts the band back together"

"Some people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth."

"How much does it cost to kill a Jew? It holocausts one."

"They say that sex relieves stress. Not true. I had sex last week and the police have been after me ever since."

"I'd rather have leg hands than arm feet."