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Joke of the Day

"Honey I'm home from Costco. ""You didn't buy anything stupid this time?"" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?"

"What is the difference between batman and a black guy? Batman can walk into a store without Robin"

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until you are 13 to come on your face."

"I get a lot of compliments on my stamp collection but philately will get you nowhere."

"I told my therapist that no one understands me... She said, ""What do you mean by that?"""

"One of the band members of Chumbawumba were in a bar fight... He got knocked down, but he got up again."

"If you have more than 4 kids I automatically refer to you as a hoarder."

"Why don't we hear jokes about the Jonestown Massacre? Because the punchlines are too long."

"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."