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Joke of the Day

"Then there were 3 sets of footprints & God said ""This is Deb. She answered my Craigslist ad & U r the one who said we should try new things"""

"A family is at the table eating dinner. ""I don't like Grandpa"" said the boy to his Mom. ""That's okay honey, just finish your potatoes instead."" She replied."

"When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket."

"What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market? Good morning ladies"

"Happy ending massages don't count as cheating... Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet."

"Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*"

"What do you call a girl with a tight vagina from Hong Kong? A Chinese finger trap"

"There should be a second 'The Ugly Duckling' written Benjamin Button-style for all the cute kids that turn out ugly."

"what did the boy with no arms an no legs get for Christmas? .... Cancer"

"After interviewing a candidate for an open position, I got an email stating, "" It was a pressure meeting you"""