58538

Joke of the Day

"Family cookouts are spent telling me to ""stop...don't say that"""

"Life is like a penis. It's soft and squishy until a girl comes along and makes it hard."

"Did you hear about the woman with guns for tits? She was pretty Barrel-Chested."

"How do you make a hamburger green? Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!"

"Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh? If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean."

"Shopping with girlfriend, she says, ""let's go down this aisle."" Me - K. Why? Her - It's a surprise. Me - K. Why? Her - Just grab that. *points* Me - K. Why? Her - KY. Me - K... Her - Y."

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"How would it be living in an only men city? I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while."

"Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say ""it's time to chase my dreams!"" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep."

"My dad made this joke after finding out he needed surgery for potential rectal cancer. Well at least no one can call me a complete asshole anymore!"