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Joke of the Day

"I've finally taken the time to list my collection of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal."

"Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead"

"I hate it when I'm brushing my teeth and Kiefer Sutherland climbs out of the toilet just to ask me if he can bum a cigarette."

"I can control what you do next in life. Made you click."

"What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks? Timbr"

"You might think incest is gross... **but it's** ***all relative.***"

"Have you heard what scientists are saying about Pluto? Apparently he's too small to be a dog."

"Why do beta fish fight each other? Because they're trying to figure out who's the betta fish"

"How many A.D.D kids does it take to change a lightbulb? WANNA RIDE BIKES?"

"A guy caught cold. His wife offers to make him Chicken Soup A chicken sitting nearby says ""Why don't you try Aleve first, ma'am?"""