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Joke of the Day

"It might take more muscles to frown than to smile, but it takes even less to completely avoid eye contact in the first place."

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"Why can't you run in a camp ground? You can only 'ran'; it's past tents."
"Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza? It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before its cool."
"Dog & Mosquito were in Love .. mosquito kissed the dog .. Dog became emotional...gave Love bite to mosquito . Mosquito died of Rabies & Dog died of Dengue . MORAL:- LOVE is DANGEROUS"
"After 30 years I still can't figure out how to pronounce ""I'm a lesbian"" so it doesn't sound like ""keep bothering me."""
"I wonder if Taylor Swift ever gets one of her songs stuck in her head and also wants to kill herself"
"Life would be more fun if every time we sneezed we lifted off the ground a few feet and came back down in slow motion"
"In an English class... Teacher: David, give me a sentence starting with ""I."" David: I is... Teacher: No, David. You must always say ""I am."" David: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
"My New Year's resolution is to cut back on my drinking... One fifth a day, max."
"My most pretentious joke. Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom."