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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] Warning Explicit Content This form is explicit. y=x^2"

"Control this is astronaut Douglas sending transmission from the Milky Way..we have no signs of chocolate..or caramel..I'd like to come home"

"It's been pretty rough going, but I think I finally beat my crippling addiction to sobriety."

"I remember when my mum used to tuck me in. She really wanted a daughter."

"If life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic!"

"I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey."

"Two guys walked into a bar.. You would think one of them would of ducked!"

"I gave up cursing for lent The next day I went over to confession and told my priest, ""I hope I don't fuck this shit up."""

"Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding."

"They should really replace, ""I now pronounce you man and wife"" with ""FINISH HIM!!"""