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Joke of the Day

"I've created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It's so strong... It'll get you stoned to death."

Next Joke
 
"Girlfriend just called me by my full given name.This is gonna end poorly."
"Did you hear about that kid who claimed that his age was 2015? He was infact a *year* old."
"Can a woman make you a millionaire? Yes, but only if you're a billionaire."
"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"
"What do you call 5 lesbians and 5 state workers? 10 people that don't do dick."
"[Barber gets out a small mirror to show an owl the back of its head] Owl: No I got it *rotates* Owl: Wait where'd it- *rotates* Owl: Ok help"
"911: What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't? No! 911: Placing you in protective custody."
"guy at seaworld: ""it's a cross between an eel and a shark, we're asking everyone to pick a name for him"" wife: ""steve"" me: ""sharkeel o'neal"""
"Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs? He had too much thyme on his hands."