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Joke of the Day

"German tourist crosses Polish border. Border guards ask him: -Name? -Hans -Surname? -Schmidt -Occupation? -No, just traveling."

"Harness the power of my dog's wagging tail and we could step into a much greener future."

"Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey? Because all proper tea is theft."

"Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal"

"BOSS: quit listening to Vanilla Ice, participate in the meeting, and pay attention ME: so... stop, collaborate, and listen? BOSS: you're fired"

"Why don't the British make computers? They can't figure out how to make them leak oil."

"Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital? Because the stock broker!"

"What do you call a person who is half Jewish? Jew-ish"

"How about a Home Alone movie where Macaulay Culkin is the dad and he leaves his kids at home because that's all he knows?"

"Today is the first New Moon after Jan 21sr. Happy New Year to Chinese people and all who choose to be Chinese for a day."