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Joke of the Day

"If you are following Facebook on Twitter, you have reached a new level of retarded."

"*Me, getting my arm bitten off during a zombie apocalypse* 5: *crying* Me: It's okay, son. 5: You said you were gonna get me a snack."

"The possibility that I hit REPLY ALL haunts every email I've ever sent."

"If you had a 12 inch dick sticking out of the middle of your forehead, how many inches of it would you be able to see? None. Your gigantic balls would be in the way."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? One .... or two?"

"My dad's favorite joke What did one testicle say to the other? Why'd they hang us.... Slim did all the shootin."

"Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat? Because it was clothed."

"Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark."

"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people."

"They say in 1990 a vagina almost took Bill Clinton down Now it looks like a weiner may take Hillary"