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Joke of the Day

"Where do you find a turtle with no legs? right where you left it."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your mouth."

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None... It should be opened when she brings it to you."

"I had an issue with my XBone suddenly breaking & emitting smoke... I wasn't too disappointed that my XBone crashed and burned but I couldn't stand the fact that the smoke was even in low-res"

"Why did your sister keep running around her bed ? Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep."

"Joker: You're endangering a minor Batman: He's my partner Joker: Why's he in his underwear? Batman: So we match. Look, this isn't about me."

"What's the opposite to Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken!"

"My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here."

"How do you know if a woman uses a vibrator when pregnant The kid stutters"

"What's the best thing about dark humor? People don't take it lightly."